Design a quality rubric for the TestBucks support chatbot, a Starbucks-like coffee shop assistant. Use resolution, offensive content, relevance, elapsed time, and conversation rounds. Define observable evidence, units, anchors, rewards, penalties, caps, missing-data handling, and non-negotiable gates. Work through a fast success, a slow success, a polite failure, and a serious conduct violation. Explain every coefficient as a proposed product tradeoff, test how plausible alternative weights change the ranking, and list decisions the product owner must settle. Label invented examples illustrative. Do not turn quality points into a release probability.